Updated: Feb 15
Is it possible to be the six-figure CEO, doting mother and fulfilling wife? Are you really a woman if you don't desire these things? The sisters weigh in.
What does it mean to be a woman?
A tough question, and a complex one. For many of us, we point to very specific experiences, materials or idols as validation of our womanhood. 'Feminity' or 'feminine countenance', whatever that means. Or perhaps we may look to more traditional characteristics - being a mother, or a wife. In some places, women have fought for agency in work, politics, and areas beyond the sphere of the home. It has given rise to the image of the 'boss babe', the mom-preneur, the superwoman capable of doing it all.
Womanhood is a difficult thing to pin down, and its complexities can have many of us feeling as though we are running towards an image that simply does not exist. A mirage that keeps on changing every time our finger tips come close to grasping its edge.
Many sisters want to be the woman that's got it all figured out. The six figure business. The size six frame with fat in all the right places. The highly-coveted feminine wife with the white picket fence and the two kids.
Pressure. Pressure. Pressure.
Constructing Your Definition of Womanhood
Sis, we know you're propping up the weight of womanhood on your shoulders. A womanhood you don't own.
Some of you don't want to be mothers. Some of you don't want to get married. Some of you don't want to be CEOs and boss babes and workaholics. Some of you don't want anything to do with social definitions of womanhood.
Guess what? That's okay.
Stop looking outside. Look inward.
Many of us look to social media and social conventions to define what womanhood looks like for us. We look to strangers and frameworks to tell us who we are. We expect people and things that have no understanding of us or our lives, to dictate to us who we should become. We allow the outside to reflect the inside, when realistically - this needs to be done in reverse.
Becoming: the Woman
Who do you want to be?
What kind of woman do you want to be?
Try to define it without the things. You know what we're talking about here. Just a few weeks ago we pulled up the brothers on characters before possession, and the same goes for the ladies - albeit in a different manner. Stop using arbitrary possessions to validate your womanhood.
Having a child does not prove you are a woman. Being a wife does not prove you are a woman. Having s six figure business does not prove you a woman.
Becoming a woman starts with you. Stop looking for proof to exhibit your worth as a woman. It's fine to aspire to have these things, but ultimately you must anchor yourself in something unshakable. Something that isn't subject to the ebbs and flows of time, or an ever-changing culture. That comes from within. Everything you want and can be already exists inside of you.
You are woman. You are enough.
Dream big dreams. Challenge yourself to increase the size of your vision. But remember sis - we do not pursue these things to prove who we are. We pursue these things because of who we are. That's the kind of women we are cultivating.
The kind that are proven by their hearts and their character.